Edwons

2006-10-08T20:24:00.000+08:00

Girl Of My Dream

She's hot.
She's hawaiian born in korea.
She's girl of my dream.
She's coming to S'pore.
Yeah, she's Michelle Wie.
I got rather excited when I read reports that she's coming to S'pore.
Although, I would rather Sharapova instead.

My comp crashed. Darn.
Using my bro's laptop.

Russell Peters coming to S'pre too!
Totally adore this guy.

Enjoying one song by Breaking Benjamin.
Its Dairy of Jane. =)

Can't wait for a new lease of life.

Some things just wouldn't change.
Cause if its meant to change, it would have changed ages ago.

LALalala

2006-08-20T17:58:00.000+08:00

Back!
Recently my comp was infected by some unknown virus.
It crippled my internet, sound, blah blah.
I managed to get rid of it after many attempts.

Anyway, i seldom speak about my family.
So, my bro just failed his driving test, Ooops.
And guess what, I'm spending bit more time with my parents.
Well, I have my reason.
Its good to keep them accompany sometimes.
No matter what, I'm still their son.

Gonna get my new posting soon.
Mon that is.
Will depart from my current camp and welcome my new camp with open arms on tues.
Surprisingly, I'm still feeling rather mundane.

To this special woman in my life:
Happy Birthday ger!
19/08

Till Then Adios!

2006-07-23T14:16:00.000+08:00

Finally have time to blog. Haha.
Last week's baybeats was awesome.
But I was sick, so didnt really enjoyed that much.
Many local bands that I've never heard of.
They were really good though. There's even a band called tiramisu. Haha

Had JC class gathering.
Was really great catching up with classmates
Some gals have turned prettier! Haha.
Anyway service of the Fish and Co. at the glasshouse really sucks!
Don't ever go there man!
Though the ambience is rather good. How ironic.
I was hardly at home the whole weekend.

Just did guard duty 2 days ago.
And creepy things happened.
My fellow guardmate heard people singing in the middle of the night!
Fortunately, i didnt meet any of those stuff.
That's all folks.
Gonna play soccer again later. Yahoooo!

2006-06-30T14:02:00.000+08:00

Pretty free now, so decided a new look
Previous was pretty cheena, not very me
Was too busy and lazy as well to change
On MC for my wisdom teeth surgery
Face swollen, hurts damn lot!
So have been working out during my free time
Can't wait to go back camp
Its just such a bore at home

2006-06-29T20:53:00.000+08:00

I can be depressed yah?
I have reason to be
No more mask to wayang
Everything is hanging in the moment
And Man I hate this feeling
Well. Who will help?
Besides no one can help
I tried to savage
But I still got no absolute answer
My future just hang in the moment
Maybe I think too much
Was just a wishing of my own
I'm worn out, totally.

Every love story has a genre if you would like to call it
Lovey-Dovey
Dramatic
Adventure

Mine: I can't even speak in words

You gave me a reason

2006-06-20T00:10:00.000+08:00

Me and Ronin! Man They rocked!

Went to SAJC to watch ronin's gig. They are awesome band i must say! Apparently there's a 30hr famine camp. So i went with my friend down to catch the performance. =)

Soon I may not be so free anymore. Well, if tt happens, it's really ideal cause that will mean that my scholarship is approved! So I'm praying hard!

My greatest weakness is procrastination. I've overcame. Will you*?

2006-06-13T00:04:00.000+08:00

Stumbled upon this quote.

"So often we fear to express our feelings to someone, for fear that we may lose them
But more often than not, it is our fear of expressing our love that we really lose them"

Oh well, I'm drinking vodka coke while watching soccer. man~!
"TEEN DRINKING IS VERY BAD"- Tipsy

2006-06-12T17:47:00.000+08:00

I was drunk 2 days in a row.

Friday night was cohesion for my wing
And free tiger beer was provided!
Well I just drink mug after mug, glasses after glasses.
And all the KTVing after the dinner and performance was great.
At the KTV I only know songs sang by Jay chou, and don't know the rest.
I suck in chinese song!
ANd the superiors showed their other side. HA!
I was drunk
BUT I didnt vomit I just couldn't walk properly! HA
Stay for the Germany match. Wasn't that exciting.
Went to my friend's house to stayover after everything. Hehe

Saturday night was a party at DXO
We drank alot too! And the crowd was really good
At least better than the last time I went there
Danced all night till 5!
Was like watching soccer match and dancing at the same time HA!

All that KTVing and dancing 2 days in a row really drained me.
Thats all folks. I'm on MC today! I wished I'm still drunk.
I'm thinking too much, far too much.
I guess I'm just a little unwell.
I wanna drink I wanna drink................

2006-06-05T22:52:00.000+08:00

I'm vexed about my future
Relentless quarrels
Man. I really need a break.
I'm still stuck in the maze
Not knowing what the future will be like for me
I'm independent as always

2006-06-01T21:25:00.000+08:00

A bed of rose petals
A bouquet of lilies
And there he was
Under the moonlight waiting anxiously
It has been a long time
Indeed it is
And there she is
An astonish look on her face
Out came the 3 precious words
Wasn't just any 3 words
They are words from the bottom of the heart
Procrastination delayed this confession
He wants to take it slow
Past experience tells him:
Relationship shouldn't be rushed.
They sat on the swing
And chatted heartily
In a blink of an eye
She had to go

To be continued..?

2006-05-31T20:45:00.000+08:00

Well, I should really stop grumbling about how army life sucks. Though it was the first time I complained in my blog, I felt that it was enough. Army life will never be good. Otherwise, you will not hearsay so much of SAF.

So I have the time now, as I just had plucked out my precious wisdom teeth. Two of them only that is. And man, it hurts. For a while only though. I got 5 days of MC in return. Nothing much to be grumbling about. I just have to worry that some point while I'm enjoying my 'rest', my superiors will call me and made god damn sure that I'm at home resting, not the town or anywhere else. So that means I can only be out to buy my meals, and nothing else. Not going to say too much, else I may be charged.

Thats my wisdom teeth as a souvenir! courtesy of the dentist!!

Well, some misconceptions made my previous entry. I was given another course (FASS) by NUS, not exactly rejected. On the contrary, I'm rejected by NTU. They didn't even bother to give me any course. I'm scrutinizing my alternatives, and that include overseas studies. That's gonna cost a bomb, but if it's a better choice, I may just go for it. I managed to convince my mum. Hurray!

I never expect to see you again
I never expect that you knew me all along
I never expect that the feelings are (were) mutual
I never expect myself to fall for you yet again
What's left of me...

2006-05-24T23:15:00.000+08:00

Bitter at first, Sweetness comes later?

Its been a bad week for me. Guard duties one after another. I was activated on standby, how bad can it be! My Sir has even blacklisted me for 'bad behaviour' ? I only made 1 mistake and I am condemned for a long time. Many bad thing happened, and I was really down! Especially that I am rejected by NUS. I so wanna get into Faculty Of Science. Argh!

But, it became better as days go by. And hopefully it gets better. Thats all folks. I'm blogging cause someone ask me to! I'm kinda too tired and lazy.

2006-05-13T16:11:00.000+08:00

My blog is quite dead. I read this on Men's health so I thought it will be nice to share this.

The girl I'm trying to date had cancelled on me three times but each time, she seems sincerely apologetic about it, offering alternative dates (which got cancelled in the end). How do I tell if she's just stringing me along?

Sigh. You sound like a nice guy, and it's even hard for me to be upfront about this - she's just not interested in you. Sad but true fact: most of us don't know how to reject a guy, and would rather say: "maybe" when we should give you an honest "no" And really, no women worth dating raises and dashes a man's hopes three times. After the second last-minute no-show, chances are she simply doesn't know how to tell you to bugger off. Even she sounds apologetic, she's probably just sorry that she's not interested.

What say *you??

2006-04-23T22:37:00.000+08:00

Being snubbed again and again is not exactly the best feeling.

2006-04-14T22:17:00.000+08:00

Well, I just did my first guard duty for my unit. And it was definately quite an experience. Its definately more interesting than the duty in Tekong. Have another one dis Sun. Argh. Enough said about NS stuff.

So let's back track abit. I attended my Secondary School's teacher wake not long ago. It came a surprise. Though she taught me for a year only. She was definately the best Chinese teacher in this world. Still remember that I was one of the students that she vividly remember when it comes to names. My chinese name is bing qing, her husband is bing jing, if my memory didn't fail me that it. There was a statement made before; a person is only remembered only when he/she passed away. Well, its kinda true. Before this incident, she didn't appear in my mind, much less going to pay her a visit in my Secondary School. Well, life is just too short for hesitation, so do what you want before you regret anything in future. That's what I've learnt.

2006-03-26T20:26:00.000+08:00

I'm posted to Ayer Raja Camp! To take care of my baby- tank! Now its just lectures after lectures. Its a stay out vocation, so many are kinda envy of me. But I would rather a stay-in. Cause I stay damn far. Armor Wing!

Electronics devices have made the distance between people more apart. Convenience comes with a price of insincerity.

2006-03-15T00:58:00.000+08:00

To Kawaii ger: Perphaps some things are better left unsaid

2006-02-26T16:54:00.000+08:00

I'm sick SHIT

Hope for the best and prepared for the worse
Yup

2006-02-16T22:07:00.000+08:00

Boy To Man?

For the first time in history, I did my own laundry and even ironed them. Sounds unbelievable? It's true! From someone who laze around everyday to someone who is willingly to do laundry is quite a feat.

At that far away land, I have to suffer horrible breakfast, and suffer from insifficient sleep. Other than that, its quite a happy story. I'm still waiting for the reply from the M.O. so that I will not regret for the rest of my life.

Basically, I have a new look on the outside, and having a minor change on the inside. Boy to Man? Depends on perception. Cos to some I am still a boy HA. Looking forward to homecook BREAKFAST. HA

2006-02-01T13:15:00.000+08:00

How about that? =)
Happy Lunar New Year!

2006-01-19T23:44:00.000+08:00

Take care my friends. BYE!

2006-01-15T22:01:00.000+08:00

18 => OLD?
Okay.. today gotta be the most hialrious day of the week
Here goes...
I was in the gym as usual ( I lost 4 kgs!). And there was this old muscular man. From his physique, i guess he's a weightlifter that rep S'pore! Anyway he wasn't in the gym working out, rather he was talking to a teen about the workout and stuff. Following, his grandson ran into the gym and started running around the gym. Then the old man started saying (pointing to me at the same time)," Eh, don't run around, later UNCLE scold!" Darn! Either that man has really poor eyesight, OR I look really OLD! Okay that's the end of my hilarious story.

Counting down... I don't have many nights to spare. I just HOPE ....

2006-01-06T22:55:00.000+08:00

GUYS! I meant those who are going or went in to that tekong place. Take care! and brace yourself harder, I'll be joining u guys in no time!

2006-01-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

Okay.. basically I've one of the best jobs anyone could ever wished for. I get to go to almost all the shopping malls in Singapore; have a nice buddy (Uncle Yong, he teaches me lots of stuff about life! ); my boss drives me to work; get to eat many nice food sponsered by my buddy, Uncle Yong; get to take a nap during work; see pretty designer and sales girls; Chat with them sometimes. What more can I ask for! Geez! =) I'm tired, but its all worth it! =D

Did ya get to know what I wanna tell ya for that second? =)

Counting down the days to NS.................... Having mixed feelings about that

2005-12-27T22:54:00.000+08:00

Chistmas is not about shopping, it's about Jesus
(Okay I have no idea why I put that!)
Alright... This year's Christmas was different. Having mixed feelings about this ... but let's just focus on the exciting stuff yah? On Christmas, it was a gathering with my secoundary friends at David's house. His house is just filled with awesome food done by his wonderful mum. Something rather saddening is that David's mum commented that I'm looking more and more like FrankiE! which also means I have grown in size man. I have to admit that I have grown alot these years and many have commented that I've grown! AH!

Anyway, following was a trip down to a Thai pub. The girls are hot! And they will do ANYTHING to please u to buy alcohol from them. And I mean anything! But the main trip down was to watch Nelson perform. Yup. That was the highlight of this year's Christmas. =)

Well I was disappointed to say the worse, but will be waiting for her to make it up to me the next time! haha just kidding! Glad she enjoyed! God Bless! =)

2005-12-15T22:11:00.000+08:00

To My Dearest Aunt
I read this in the papers, and I would like this message to go out to my aunt, whom I talked to, not long ago. Chances are that she will not read this, but I believe in miracles =)

Dear aunt,

The Pain Of Release

The average teenager chomps at the hit to get from parental rule and during these tumultuous teenage years, many parents are only too eager to show their child the door. But when the time comes, releasing a child is often painful, if not impossible for many parents. Parents who have ushered their children through diapers and daycare; through pimples and graduations, often want to hold on to their youngsters long after the parental role is over. The same commitment and love that leads parents to do well when the children are small may also cause them to hold on too tightly when they are all grown up. Some parents need their children too much to let them go. They become extensions of themselves and their egos are inextricably linked. Still it’s the responsibility of the parents to release the grip and set the fledging adult free to make it on his own. And parents whop refuse to let go often force two bad alternatives. The first is to yield to parental domination and manipulation, which makes them dependent puppets and perpetual children. The second is to respond like a mountainous volcano that blows its top, pouring its larva on everything in its path. To ease your child out of the house and into the world, first look at your own hands. Are you holding on too tightly? If so, this might be the very best moment to release the grip.

I may not be mature enough to tell you what you should be doing now, but I can tell you as a teenager point of view. The period now may be tough, but once this is over, your child will be mature enough. Well, as you have said all you can do now is to pray that alls well for his future. But sometimes falling down may not be the worse thing afterall. I fell alot, but managed to stand up. I am not mature man, I am still a boy, well at least to my mum. I just you to know that letting go may be the hardest thing to do, but it's the only solution for now.

Yours truly,
Nephew Edwin

2005-12-08T22:56:00.000+08:00

Missing everybody (esp. *U)
Out Of Singapore! Cheers!

Great album! Especially track 10, go check it out!

This is one of the few chinese artist that I listen to, so trust me, go grab it! *laugh*

2005-12-04T00:18:00.000+08:00

A Night To Remember
Yeah~ Back from prom! It was a wonderful night to remember. Seeing classmates dressing to their best till I couldn't revognise some of them, especially Xin Tian! After the prom, the party is not over yet! We guys went to One Fullerton to club. Had a bit of drinks, and had a wonderful time dancing. Haha... the club wasn't tt nice I thought esp the lighting. Anyway I was a bit drunk when I got home. That probably spells the end of this 'rendevous' night (If there's this word) Shall upload some of the pics next time.

Now, for something else... a few days ago, a girl by the name of vanessa added me to her Msn. I realise that she was my classmate back then in Primary School. I completely forgotten who she is. This makes me wonder how my brain works... or rather my memory. I am able to remember vividly about someone else who is not the same class, but not the one in the same class as me. My memory completely fail me when it comes to some ppl in my class, yet I could remember the stuff that happened in my pri sch camp. *laugh* That's strange...... or is it? =)

2005-11-29T10:38:00.000+08:00

Over! Over!
Yes! Yes! Its finally over. These few days, I have been playing so hard that I hardly have time for anything else. Yup, the prom is coming, there seems to be so much stuff to buy, and so little budget to spend! Really can't wait for that day!

I was reading Men's Health and find this interesting:
With so much confusion, it's a jungle of opinions that a modern man faces today. He must be brave, yet must have the heart to shed a tear; he has to have a sense of humour and can laugh at himself, yet be serious, confident, ambitious ; a giver, yet a go-getter. A great bod and careful grooming is a must, yet spending too much time before a mirror or in a gym is a turn-off. He must be a worrier and a poet, a scholar and a plumber, exhibiting old-world values make him a chauvinist and a dinosaur; possessing new-age sensibilities make him a sissy.

2005-11-21T22:26:00.000+08:00

So Near Yet So FaR
Yeah Yeah~! Its coming! 24th i meant.. haha =)
Knowing that its so near yet so far makes me feel very agonising arghh..
Gonna slack first anyway ... keke...

There's some stuff I have been keeping to myself...
Didnt wana say cos I'm simply not the guy of person who just speaks his words
Yah.. will see how it goes.. the response yah?
Anyway.. for those who have finish CONGRATS! and for those who havent The End is Near! Push On!

Will u be my cinderella instead? =)

2005-11-13T23:02:00.000+08:00

Will my dream of u
And your dream of me
come true? =)
Focus Focus
24th is the DAY....

2005-11-03T20:12:00.000+08:00

Your words hurt me
FOCUS
FOCUS

2005-11-02T21:04:00.000+08:00

I feel renewed after hearing this
Kieth said " If you can change things, why worry, if you can't, why worry too?"
Thanks dude.
FOCUS

2005-10-26T18:36:00.000+08:00

Can't wait really can't wait for this to be over
24th Nov is the day
The day of freedom
Lots of stuffs I yearn to do
Looking forward for this to end
But there's something else I'm looking forward to =)

2005-10-16T22:25:00.000+08:00

U knew. But I didn't sadly. So I chose this
Den again I'm thankful that I contemplate
I wanted to avoid the dreadful consequences
And I did. Keep cheering
All the best in searching. And thank you once again

2005-10-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

Got excellent for conduct
Even though I have came late a million times
Farewell assembly on Friday was awesome.
All the laughters will be missed
Definately
Tomorrow will be a better day
Gotta defy all odds
especially to Mrs ***

Happy 18th Birthday once again, Grace!

2005-10-12T22:53:00.000+08:00

Evangelising in school.
Is that right?
I was evangelised during my secondary school days
That's why I knew stuff about Christianity
And God
But I was thankful for this
Maybe not my parents
But I am
Is it wrong to preach?
Well I think it is Yes for some
Gotta 'chiong' tomorrow
Come on!

2005-10-09T23:02:00.000+08:00

Today, Keith said this to me,"Man can only see what's above and couldn't see what's below us. As a result, Man is afraid of what's below us and envy of what's above us. Then they labeled what's above us to be heaven, and what's below us to be hell. Man is afraid to go below the earth, hell and wish to go above, heaven." Now, may I ask, who ever said that what's above us is heaven, and what's below us is hell. Just because we do not know what's below, we deem it as hell, the scariest and most unwanted place? And deem heaven as what we could see which is above us? What if one day you found out that it's actually the other way round?

What if one day, this guy found out that it is actually the other way round?

2005-10-08T22:44:00.000+08:00

Okay, these few days were nothing but mugging, and it seems that I have less and less stuff to talk about. Sorry, if my entry is getting more and more boring. I'm becoming more and more nerdy as the As get nearer. These days, words that come out from my mum’s mouth seems to be the same "GO STUDY!" Every time I try to laze around, she will nag and nag. AHHHhhh.... Yeah I will! Just give me some peace alright? Anyway, I flunked my GP, yet again. I managed to pass it last year, but can't seem to pass it in year 2. I need to speak more good English desperately. I need to study hard to achieve my dream, my long-awaited dreammmm.... =D

That's why I have been reading the papers a lot lately. The following is rather boring but it is something so far yet so close to our hearts. Its not about GP or anything. It's something close to my heart yet has been put 'on the shelf' for some time.

As I was reading the 'The Straits Times' today, a small column of the World issue caught my attention. It is about the invading of Iraq. In the article, it was mentioned that Bush heard God's voice. God told him to invade Iraq to fight tyranny, fight the terrorist in Afghanistan, and go to Palestinians to give the Israelis peace. Although the spokesman of the White house denied it, the BBC reported that Bush said that, and even a Palestinian leader reported Bush saying that. I’m really confused now. Tell me about it, my friends (tag me alright?). If he really said that, what are the reasons behind all these?

Well, dudes mug hard and play hard! Don't sound so depressing like me! *laugh*

2005-10-06T21:44:00.000+08:00

This story tells about a man who has 4 wives. He loves the 4th wife most. He showers expensive gifts and treats delicacies to her. He didn't mind spending so much money on her as he loves her a lot. He loves the 3rd wife very much. He likes to bring her out as she is gorgeous, and thus is proud to go out with her. He too loves his 2nd wife. Whenever he has any problems, he will talk to her. She is a confidant to him, and has solved many problems for him. As for the 1st wife, she takes care of all the household chores and help to manage every single thing at home. She loves him. But, the man love her the least.

One day, the man fell sick, and he knew that he was going to die. He lived with 4 wives but died alone, so he's not happy. He called upon his 4th wife and asked,"I have always showered you with the most expensive gifts, treated and love you the most, are you willingly to die with me?"The 4th wife replied, "Of course not, I haven't enjoyed the world enough, Sorry!" Then she walked away. Then he called upon his 3rd wife, and asked, "I always brought you out with me to parties and treated you so well, are you willingly to die with me?" The 3rd wife said, "No, I'm still young, not willingly to die so early yet." Then she too, walked away. Then after, the man called upon the 2nd wife, and asked, "I always sought you when I have problems. Now that I'm dying, are you willingly to go with me?" The 2nd wife replied,"I can help you with any problems, but not this one." Upon hearing, the man was devastated. "I'm willingly to die with you", the 1st wife said. The man cried, and told his 1st wife, "I should have treated you with more love and care."

This story reflects us. Everybody has 4 wives. 4th wife -> our wealth, wealth will be useless once we are dead. 3rd wife-> our status, our status will be gone when we die. 2nd wife-> our friends and family, they will be gone when we die, they can't be there for us forever, that is after we die. 1st wife-> our soul, only our soul will accompany is when we die. So, now there's still time to treat our 1st wife better, otherwise we will regret when we leave thie world.

I feel unwell

2005-09-28T22:08:00.000+08:00

Many of us are controlled by the temptation to feel what we are supposed to feel. For example, when a couple is separated, they are supposed to be sad. Therefore, we feel obliged to feel sad even though we may not feel that sad at all. Or, we try to be brave when we are really devastated, hoping the other one to see the stronger side of you, not the weaker side of you. You want to prove that you can move on with your life even without the other one. Though you are really devastated by the breaking up, you still put on a brave front in front of the other one. That's just some food for thought. Feel your feelings, not feel what you are supposed to feel.

I am still contemplating what I should do. Procrastinating again, as usual, I know I shouldn't this is a great falling, but I still have to straighten up my thoughts on what should be done. Sometimes, what one wants to do is not what one is able/should be doing. I am really afraid that if I procrastinate again, the same result will occur again. "To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heavens: a time to born, and a time to die; a time to love and a time to hate; a time of war and a time of peace... " Is this the time to do it right now? Sometimes I have a millions words to say, but when asked to say. I choked on my reply. I am still contemplating.

Now, for my results, so far, I got straight Ds. Well, that is not exactly the best result I was hoping for, but I have got some positives out of them. It was kinda what I aimed for, in terms of improvement. The only one left is GP. The subject that everyone feared and has difficulty passing or even scoring. Gotta work harder, and not disappoint anyone especially myself. =) Studying is something I will not procrastinate. Cheers!

And one last thing, I am 1 step closer to my dream, my long awaited dream. I have not done anything for my mum to be proud of, but this will really be a great opportunity to make her proud. Not disclosing what it is, till I am really close to achieving it. Till then. Cheers! =)

It is strange how one is able to forget something about that someone all of a sudden, even though they were once so close. Once heard that our brains works in a way whereby it will selectively forget things that saddens you. I think that's what happening to me right now.

2005-09-23T22:17:00.000+08:00

Wooohh!! What better way to celebrate the over of prelims than to go partying! Went to Coco Latte to celebrate my friends’ birthday plus. It was my last time clubbing. Though it might sound rather nerdy to do that now, when many others had gone clubbing way before they turned 18, I enjoyed myself. That is the most important thing, isn't it? =D Rashes appeared on my skin, probably due to the alcohol, but it was 'worth' it lah!

And yah, I recently found out that many of my tutors in college are getting married or just got married! 1st, it was my civics tutor, Ms Mak. She got married earlier this year. Then, it is my Chemistry tutor, Mr Lim. He is getting married, think next year. 3rd, it is my beloved Sha Sha! She is my biology tutor, and my big motivation to do well for biology. She is getting married too at the end of this year. Love is in the air, yeah? =)

I just wanna enjoy myself these few days before the results are out. Then, it will be back to mugging days… =( And gotta pray and hope that result won't be that bad lah

2005-09-16T22:00:00.000+08:00

A performer was performing at a certain hotel
He took out a $50 note and showed it to the crowd
Then he said,"I'm going to give this note to one of the audience here, those who want it, please raise up your hand."
Nmerous hands were raised
""Before I give it to anyone, I will do something to this note." he said
He then crushed the $50 note with his hand and asked the audience
"Who else still wants this $50 note?"
The same number of hands was raised
Then he went on to do something
He threw the $50 note on the ground and tumbled and stepped the note with his feet
He went on to ask, "Anybody still wants this note?"
Yet, again the same number of hands was raised

In life, even after you are crushed and tumbled, the 'value' of you didn't drop. You are still special. =)

As I close the chapter of you
I look back and wana thk you for everything that u've done
For cheering me on, for encouraging me, and everything
Your strengths are great
But I'm sure someone will be able to appreciate them more than me
Its not that I dun wana say
Not that I'm too afraid, or lack the courage to say
Just that it's not the time yet
Piorities remember?
I can't say it just like it and leave everything lying
Like the song I sent you, its all in there
Not sure if u know its you
But if you know.. yah that's what I wana say
I'm alright like always
Will not be easily beaten again like the last time
Cheers!

2005-09-10T23:11:00.000+08:00

www.soccernet.com

I need a break desperately

2005-09-05T21:58:00.000+08:00

Always being there for a person you love is almost a privilege. Having that individual open up to you completely is no longer a privilege, but something so fantastic, so stupendous that words alone are unable to describe this feeling. It's no longer a burden, not even a trace of it; in fact, it becomes a thing of wanting, of longing. To be able to lend a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on => to be there for you.

I've written this before, but I just feel the urge to write this once again. How wonderful it is for someone to opening up to you, and its not only your partner, it may be your friends, siblings even those you barely know. It's just something indescribable. Yah... just something to think about =D

Good Charlotte- We believe
There's a woman crying out tonight.
Her world has changed.
She asked God why
Her only son has died and now her daughter cries.
She can't sleep at night.

Downtown, another day for all the suits and ties,
Another war to fight; there's no regard for life.
How can they sleep at night?
How can we make things right?
Just want to make things right...

-chorus-
We believe (6x) in this love.

We are all the same.
Human in all our ways and all our pain.
(So let it be)
There's a love that could fall down like rain
(Let us see)
Let forgiveness wash away the pain
(What we need)
And no one really knows what they are searching for
(We believe)
This world is crying for so much more.

-chorus-
We believe (6x) in this love.

So this world is too much for you to take,
Just lay it down and follow me.
I'll be everything you need in every way.

This song is damn nice haha =D
Study hard and don't forget to play hard guys! =)

One interesting fact: Humans are the only animals that copulate face to face. =)

Smile =D, cause you won't know who has fallen in love with your smile =)

2005-09-03T20:56:00.000+08:00

Haha... I miss playing tennis damn lot all of a sudden!
Got influence by someone I guess =)
Anyway has been mugging all day and night.
4 walls are the only ones I "talked to"
Some food for thought: If there's something that involves alot of pain, will you still do it? It's ur passion, but lots of pain is invloved in the process. Will you still do it?
=)=)=)

Nose Digging Competition (with my brothers!)

=)

Life is beautiFOOL, so are we! =)

2005-09-01T23:20:00.000+08:00

When a plain white paper is inked with a small dot, all the emphasis will be on the small dot, while the white part is ignored. A hundred people praise you, but only one person who criticize you, all emphasis will be again on the criticism.

It;s normal that all emphasis is put on the disability of the contestant in Project Superstar, while his talented singing ability is ignored. Cause he's the special one, the only one who is different. While many regarded his votes as sympathy votes, I don't quite think that way. But then again, I can't disregard the sympathy completely. His disability will naturally link us with sympathy. This is just human nature.

When u donate to a disabled who is performing in the streets, other than his talent and will to perform despite his disability, there's some sympathy involved. And well, you hope that he will be able to get on with life despite being different from others.

But, nobody says disabled can't be famous, nobody says disabled can't stand out. Don't look down on them. Disability hasn't stopped Beethoven from composing piano pieces, disability hasn't prevent one from being the president (like the one in Indonesia), disability hasn't stopped Terry Fox from asking the world to help donating to the cancer foundation. At the end of the day, disabled people is just like normal people. They do deserve every single chance that a normal human being can get.

I totally enjoyed Jun Jie's performance. He's very talented and very unique. He beat box, rap, and singing. All rounded I supposed. Btw, the beat box that you guys hear on radio, Perfect 10, is done my friend Dharni! He's a star now man! He's even the judge for beatbox competition. That's it for now. Gotta upload the photos which is taken when I went back Coral on Teacher's Day. That's all folks. =D

I feel blessed

I missed secondary school life

I remebered, like i've said before.

2005-08-30T08:34:00.000+08:00

I've thought about this the whole night. Tossing and turning, I somehow concluded something. I'm just not up to task. I shouldn't have been appointed. I should have refused the task. A horrible job, I think everyone will agree to. I can't deny the fact that the current situation was somehow my fault.

2005-08-29T20:35:00.000+08:00

Last night I had one of those nightmares. It was about someone who just disappear in your life all of a sudden. Like they never knew you before. I guess those dreams happen because they're an expression of the manifestation of inner fears. They really feel so real, especially when you're not a stranger to the feelings in real life.

Am I failing my job? All fingers are pointed at me when things go wrong. Even if I may be able to take it as a passing comment, these words still linger in my mind. It caused me to break down a few weeks back. But I came back stronger. Nobody's at fault. If someone is at fault, the whole "team" is at fault.

2005-08-26T22:30:00.000+08:00

Prelims are just around the corner.
In the past, I would succumb to pressure.
"Study is not my forte", like I always say
But not this time,
For some reason,
There seems to be an inner motivation
I reckon that it comes from my mum or myself
But I concluded it came from someone else
"Aja Aja Wati!!" => Jiayou!
U must too =)

Here's a story:
A monk was walking, when he heard cries coming from somewhere nearby.
He went ahead to check out who was crying
And found a women squatting down, crying out her lungs
"Why are you crying, Lady?" the monk asked
"My boyfriend just broke up with me. He doesn't love me anymore" She replied
Upon hearing, the monk laughed
"You evil monk! You are laughing over my mishaps."
"No, you misunderstood, Miss." The monk said
"You have only lost someone who doesn't loves you, but he has lost someone who really loves him." The monk continued
Upon hearing, the women cried no more.

This is the chorus of 'Heaven Knows', nice and meaningful song i thought

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows.
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine

2005-08-23T00:17:00.000+08:00

"Take responsibility for all the vicissitudes of your life. Don't blame others for your misfortunes. It's not the system, it's not the school, it's not the teachers, it's not your friends, it's not your friends, it is you"

Our eyes may have met a hundred times, a thousand times, maybe a million times. Not only here in Singapore but also elsewhere. But fate still seems to be playing with us. Not allowing me to say a 'Hi' to you in reality. We are just like 2 parallel lines going past each other for years and years ever since young. When will these 2 lines ever meet?

2005-08-22T19:37:00.000+08:00

WoOOooHhh! Check this out! Haha ... Despite all the stress I've got nowadays, I feel that Love is all around me! Haha ... Rock on yah =) Firstly, the people who were down are happy yet again right now... That was one of my birthday wish... that everyone around me will be happy always, if not forever. =D

Anyway just some photos that were taken during my mini-celebration at Swensens on Sunday with my family. P.S. These photos are not advisable to be viewed by those who are having an empty stomach right now, cause you will simply droooolll... =)

Presenting my main course, the pepper grilled chicken

Next it's the banana split
Now you see.....................Now u don't...................

That's the glutton me!

Lastly, My birthday cake! It's the nutella. Haha, isn't it chocolately? =D

Yeah That's it, hope you guys didn't drool yah? Yah, I got some unexpected wishes from the friends in Coral. Although we didn't stay much in contact, they still remember my birthday! Thanks to ALL!!! Haha... And Lastly, Happy Birthday to All Leos! Haha.. and especially Shuyi, Although she will not read this but Happy Birthday to you as well, cause your birthday falls on the same day as me 22/08 ! Cheerrrsss!! =)

2005-08-18T23:22:00.000+08:00

Here's something interesting:
Why do people close their eyes when they kiss?
Well, it all depends on the perspective. BIOLOGICALLY, some anthropologist (one who studies the social relationships of human beings), believe that lips are comparable to the labia of the woman's vagina. The 'feeling' part for the lips occupies a large part in out brain. Thus, while kissing it will induce a sensory overload. By closing the eyes, sensory load.

Otherwise, PHYSICALLY, while kissing, 2 persons will be really close to each other, and our eyes will not be able to see clearly at this close range. This will create a blurred image of the partner and this feeling may be unpleasant.

Else, EMOTIONALLY, some will prefer to close their eyes to reduce embarrassment (esp. for the 1st timers! =P), and concentrate on the feeling of tender touch and love more than anything else. In short, they simply don't wish to be disturbed.

I met you, and loved you, and hated you. Love is simply a journey of no-returns. Baby, let me forget you. Those things I have just seen it clearly this time.
A song by YiDA. I translated it to English myself. Well, I just thought it was meaningful.

2005-08-17T22:18:00.000+08:00

Alright.. today was pretty much a slacking day.. Went to Harbourfront Centre and saw the show "SHOOT!" being filmed. The other parts of the day was pretty much mundane.

AND, I just upgraded my software of my handphone (apparently it was not upgraded when i bought it) and all my contacts and msges were deleted once again. SHUCKS! I just hate this feeling lah! haha=) Sorry for those whom I ask for contact, actually only 1, I have to ask from you again.. haha...

Yeah, as my journey to As is drawing near, I've gotta get down to some serious work. I will just have to leave it to GOD. That was the 1st time I actually encouraged u? In the past, it was always me being encouraged. Yup, that's it for my mundane Wednesday. The only one that can help me find my goals is myself no one else period.

This is Park Ji Sung. Hardworkiness is what he possess and I hope to be like him. Be a shining star eventually =P

2005-08-14T23:03:00.000+08:00

WoooOoohhHH! Finally, I got my hp. =) Shopped for it for almost 2 whole hours! Can't wait to check out its cool function. But one thing, I have to ask for contacts from everyone again. Haha.. troublesome indeed. So if anyone is kind enough to sms me ur no, I will definately be very grateful! =)

Played badminton with my classmates, some of them I've never played with. But nevertheless it's fun alright. =D Okay... nothing much to say yet again. But gotta brace myself for yet another hectic week.

And well, to that person, Sorry that I didn't tell you anything that you have ask me. All i can say is that it's over, so don't be too bothered about it. And we will be friends forever alright?

And yah don't ever give up your dreams cause if you do that you will live to regret it. If you see that it's a dead end ahead, don't stop walking towards it cause you may just see hope at the corner =) Tell me how you feel
Introducing my new hp!

2005-08-11T21:41:00.000+08:00

Ahhh..... totally worn out. Yet another long day. But i'm still strong and fighting. Yes! I shall not let my parents down. Priorities are all I'm thinking about? haha... Not much thing to say, except that i wish tt people who are down to keep fighting too! Alright? =D

Cheerfulness is your strength
Your smile is simply irresistable
Your optimism is what attracts me
Happy-go-lucky is your forte
And the list goes on....
You are truly an attracter or a magnet i should say
And me, a dull and simple metal is just attracted to you =)
I hope u know the way I'm feeling....

mUg Mug MUG mUG muG MuG........... ahhhh.. still can't get used to life without my handphone.. damn troublesome... shall get it soon

2005-08-10T16:55:00.000+08:00

WoOooH! The fireworks at Tampines was just awesome! Haha ... went with my family. This is the closest I've ever been to the fireworks. I was pretty excited. And well it was enjoyable. Too bad, no photos were taken, else it will really be gourgeous. It was memorable. =)

Anyway, now studies is my priority. Yeah! Don't doubt alright? Edwin is gonna mug mug mug.... Any other thing will be secondary right now. And that includes my lovelife and anything else. Cheers alright! I pretty much expected the ending would be like this, and would not expect anything further than what we are now. Well, guess it just boil down to that I wouldn't wana get upset by any bad outsome at this point of time, therefore I'm not willingly to commit.

Btw, I still; haven't got my handphone. aHH!! I'm dying without that manz.. so sorry for any inconvenience caused alright? keke And this mtv talks alot about my feelings right now.

Don't be too good, i will miss you; Don't be too caring, I might like you; Don't be too sweet, I might fall for you

P.S. This is not a sad entry. Cause I'm still happy alright? Yeah...=)

Frankie J : H0w to deal

Sometimes a man has to choose

And do something he doesn't wanna do

Do I live my life with you as my wife

Or do I go on and pursue my lifetime dream

I gotta do this for me

Cuz if I don't

I'll probably regret it

But if I do I'll probably regret it

How do I cope

How do you cope when

The one you love is with somebody else

And there's nothing you could do about it

How do I deal with

The fact that you had a chance

But you chose to turn away for your career

I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'

It's something that I had to do

But nobody said that it would hurt so bad

So how do I live...how do I deal without you

It's killing me to know

That your heart hurts with me

But you're with him cause I chose

To be in this industry

Money, shows, and hoes come along with luxury and pain

Is all you see when you think about it

But this is the life that I was given

So I have to live it to the fullest

But how do I deal in the meantime without you

How do you cope when

The one you love is with somebody else

And there's nothing you could do about it

How do I deal with

The fact that you had a chance

But you chose to turn away for your career

I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'

It's something that I had to do

But nobody said that it would hurt so bad

So how do I live...how do I deal without you

2005-08-06T21:49:00.000+08:00

Its official. I lost my handphone. Carelessly drop it in a bus. Was so desperate that i went every 293 bus to check if it was still there. Went up at least 7 buses, till the bus uncle recognises me already. But still nowhere to be found.

Anyway, the konzert was awesome, esp. the band. Must really give them credit for the long periods of practising. Thumbs up! The CO did a great job too, esp the Erhu. Haha .. got a shock when they suddenly did the horse sound. I though it was someone laughing! haha... it was really enjoyable =). My friends and I were sitting in front, and so i was limited to only looking at the flutist. Yi xuan was one of them, she looked ravishing =) keke.

Hope it's really a blessing in disguise =) You made my day. What a coincidence!

2005-08-01T19:29:00.000+08:00

Today was one of the most tiring day of the week. And there still more to come. I did lots of my tutorials! haha =D Yah another thing, i found out that Thursday I have to stay back till 5.30! OMG... that's gonna be the last thing i could ever wished. Stay strong and get As !

Here are some of the photos taken during the farewell dinner for my cousin some time ago.... =)

Look at me... I'm like a pig lah... =p

Despite my tiredness, you made my day!

I feel accomplished=)

2005-07-29T22:02:00.000+08:00

3 person i wanna thank

I bear in mind the promise I made to her
In the end, I just have to thank her
Cause of her, i did not revert back to my old self
Thank you

She told me to curb my temper
It may be just a remark you will say to anybody
But it means alot to me
Thank you

Lastly, thank you mum
You make my life worthwhile
You make me feel that there's still still Edwin
Your advice made me realise lots of things
I used to neglect your naggings
But not anymore
You are the one that help me up when I was down
I went around searching
In the end, you are there all along

I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's gotta give
A share in this relationship gets older, older
You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight
someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now
I want the best of you
I don't care if that's not fair
Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
There are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I don't show it , show it
Then there's times you look at me
As thought I'm all that you could see
Those times I don't believe it's right I know it , know it
Don't make me promises baby
you never did know how to keep them well
I had the rest of you now
I want the best of you it's time to show and tell
Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never

This song doesn't mean much, it jut makes me reminisce. Its not easy to be me. Everyone is not easy to be. So I will just be myself. (okay i don't make sense)

Happiness is where you find it, very seldom where you seek it
*Her cheerfulness is my happiness =)

2005-07-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

I am Sorry, my friends

2005-07-24T20:49:00.000+08:00

Dreams are things that we dun wish to happen in the reality
Otherwise i guess its also known as fear?
These few days, i dreamt alot
For no reason
But does it need a reason
My dreams are very strange
Cant explain man
But these dreams keep my mind so busy
That i couldnt even sleep well at night
My shoulders are still aching
But my mood is good
Yeah~!

hEr cheerfulness

2005-07-21T22:25:00.000+08:00

Wanted to complete my tutorials last night after going online.
But fell asleep in the end without doing much.
Didnt realise how much my shoulders were aching until today
Been so tired lately.
Dunnoe why.
But i am still upbeat
Cheering myself up everyday
Shall complete today
Try my best

Your attitude makes me feel that your concern those days were simply out of sympathy. My impression of you had completely changed

2005-07-19T22:27:00.000+08:00

I'm so indecisive. I can't make up my mind. It's always like this for me. This feeling is not good. In the end, it is the other party who makes the decision. And here I am, feeling regretful. This world has come to a selfish one, where one makes decision without sparing a thought for others. All my work has just gone done the drain when the other party makes the decision without asking me at all. Could I have done more? I ask myself. I thought I tried my best as I could, but it didn’t seem enough. Yet again. Why? Am I not convincing enough? I think that I have been thinking for everyone else too much. Maybe its time to think about me, myself, not anybody.

2005-07-18T20:20:00.000+08:00

Realised that 16 July was not fireworks festival. It was merely a rehearsal for the national day as it draws near. My khakis and I were supposed to watch F4 but was cancelled somehow. Anyway we still got to watch the fireworks. Although it was not as nice as the one I watch last year, it was nevertheless gorgeous, beautiful, glamorous, exquisite, ravishing and unforgettable. Although only the guys went, it was fun anyhow. If only there was ... erm ... haha ...

2005-07-13T19:30:00.000+08:00

haha... for pure entertainment

Now for a topic that has been quite disturbing

I was utterly disappointed at the recent reports regarding the NKF chief. I dialed 2 calls, which totals up to about 10 bucks. Although I had some selfish reasons to donate, I seriously hoping that the money will be used to help the patients rather than using it to buy some gold-plated tap or fly first class trips.

The 2 calls that I made, I had hope for 2 wishes. Its regarding 2 of my closest kin, my godmother and my dad. I will hope for these wishes to come true. But at the same time I hope the needy will be helped anyway.

Sometimes while watching the NKF charity show, I was moved by the relentless effort by the actors and actress. How was I to know that, behind this entire moving scene, there’s a guy who earns 1.8 million in a span of 3 years. Almost a year bonuses were given to him each year. It not only let down the public who donated for the past years, it also let down the actors and actress who does all the encouragement, and most of all, the cancer and the kidney patients. It makes one ponder whether the NKF shows were just a show for the private organizations to earn the sympathy money from the public.

A guy who is working for the NKF, earning about 25,000 monthly, 550,000 yearly and at least 10 months of bonuses, how much does he donate to the patients? Some who merely earn 1000 bucks donate 50 bucks. I will just hope and pray the court will have a fair trial.Damn, I have mixed feelings about charity organizations now.

Source: The Straits Times Interactive

2005-07-06T18:52:00.000+08:00

Tear

This word has 2 meanings:
1) A drop of the clear salty saline solution
2) An opening made forcibly as by pulling apart

These 2 meanings are completely different, and yet it is the same word. This leads me to the perspective of people in life. There are always 2 sides to every thing e.g. pros and cons.

One day, after having Macdonald's meal, my friend told me to not to clear the stuffs.
"Hey Edwin, don't clear the stuffs, there are cleaners here to do the dirty work."
"But I thought they keep encouraging us to clear and this lessen the workload of the cleaners isn't that good?"
"If everyone does the same thing, the cleaners will have nothing to do. And they will not have this job anymore!"
"Oh... yah true."

Our laziness has actually help another person to earn a living. Ironic, it may sound. But, that's life. Here's another example, chopping of trees is never a good thing. It may destroy our earth, blah blah. But this actually helps to create jobs!

Yeah just like how I screwed up my exam this time. Damn! Although I got bad results, it kinda motivated me to work harder. Keke =)

Happiness is not perfected until it is shared with others

2005-07-05T21:07:00.000+08:00

Here's a story:
A guy is going to graduate from a certain university.
As he awaits for his graduation day, he saw a sports car
He fell in love with it at first sight
He told his affection to his dad, knowing that his dad would well afford it
Finally, the graduation day arrived
He went straight home after the ceremony, wanted to look at his beloved sports car
When he reached home, his dad asked him into the study room
" You've done me proud, my son!" The father said
Then, he handed over a red rectangle box to his son
Disappointed, the son opened the box, only to find a bible inside
"With all the money you have, you just buy a bible for me?" the son said
Following that, he threw the box away and ran away from home
After many years, he decided to go back to see his dad
Then, he received a phone call
He learned that his dad has passed away, and willed all his money to him
So, he went home to pack his dad's belongings
While packing, he saw the bible, new just like the one he saw many years ago
He flipped through the bible and saw an envelope
There's a car key and a paper, which bears the same dealer many years ago

How many people forgo God's blessing just because the packaging was lousy or isn't what we wanted?

So live that your memories will be part of your happiness

Thanks to somebody... i have to do my homework now liao.... haha .... CyazZz... =)

2005-07-01T20:33:00.000+08:00

I really felt like a fool when I heard that -- opinions from people around me. They say love is blind, it will make u accept her every mistakes no matter however grave it is, will make u love her no matter how big her flaws are, will make you still care for her no matter how she reject your concern. But, some just didn't accept the other party's mistakes, flaws and concern; they still claim they are in love with him. Are they?

Love is a scary word when we use it, just like promises. At least to me it is. But, people just use it so often, that it seems that this world is full of love. Evidently, it's not. It's funny how one could turn her back on you so easily, yet saying that she loves you at the same time. It just seems so ambiguous. People seek for perfect happiness in love, just like how a student yearn for perfect As for every single exam, just like how a businessman hope that his business will earn profits from day 1.

I'm probably one of the rare ones, who cling on to memories very tightly. Not because I like to reminisce, but some things just come back to your mind. It's an uncontrollable feeling like a reflex arc.

Finally, exams are over and I can grasp some breath before the results come back. Been rather upset these 'holiday', something to do with my class. Rachel, too were unhappy. But we concluded that it takes two hands to clap.

And for anyone out there who thinks that I'm still upset about things that happen to me, just to tell u guys that I'm alright and I have let go of what I've been holding on to. Just like Youfu in a Chinese drama.

Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they have

2005-06-30T12:48:00.000+08:00

Feeling lethargic, walking to the classroom, images of the frightening scenario of the examinations flashed crossed my mind. As I was walking, adrenalin was pumping through my whole body. The anxiety was obvious. Upon reaching, I found myself alone (the only guy) gathered with a bunch of girls. The guys were standing at the other side. Lazily, I just stood there and converse with the gals. They started commenting on the barbequed prawn (Ebi) and her apparent loss of weight, which I thought otherwise. Feeling bored, I just stood there and examined the barbequed food. I thought that I could still converse with the gals while waiting for the invigilator to let us in. Then dua tao (big head) started to say,"Have I grown fatter." Arghhh!!.. I finally realize I couldn't stay at that feminine group and decided to walk lazily to the guys' side before I die of topics like this

I have no bloody idea why I'm writing all this. Any story that is close to the one that I wrote is purely coincidental. Any inconvenience is regrettable! =)

The heart is happiest when it beats for others =)

2005-06-19T11:22:00.000+08:00

As promised, i'm going to give a quote about happiness
Happiness can only be sought and fought, it can never be bought. =)

2005-06-19T11:18:00.000+08:00

Dad, this is for you

Today is Father's day. And I'm hoping that I could spend every Father's Day with you. Ysterday was great, although it was merely just a simple fare , really feel like it was better than the Father's Day in the past.

I want you to live to see me grow up and get married and have kids. I don't wanna spend half my live without a father. I can't muster my courage to say all this to know, but I just gonna say this anyway.

I wanna you to take care of your health, by stop smoking, eating healthily. Your illness is no joke, and it may take your life any time. Although it may seem that your health isn't that bad now, smoking is going to harm it more.

You're the reason I hate smoking. Cause it will just take you away from me. I just hate to see a family broke up like that, as much as I hate to see you ill. If all these words are not going to convince you, you just have to look back at those days where you were at the hospital. Those tears can never be made up, and I just want you to understand my feelings.

Well, I'm hoping that you can understand how I feel. Only through this journal, am I able to say this out. Unlike, me and mum, we are able to express feelings more easily. Lastly, I hope that you will be touched enough to quit smoking.

Love,
Edwin

2005-06-17T15:00:00.000+08:00

Imperfection is within most of our spiritual beings. And many yearn to be a Utopian. But, if everyone is a Utopian, does Jesus have to be crucified? He died for the sake of mankind. His blood flows, a reminder for us not to repeat our mistakes anymore. He was crucified, because he knows that we, beings are not perfect. Yet, some of us wanna be perfect. Foolish, you may call them. I would never wanna labeled them this way, cause I had been one of them too. I was naive. Our brain is classified into left and right brain, just like our thinking, Extreme I will say, as we deem ourselves either as Utopian or failure. We called this "discontinuous variation". Or rather the 'we' only refer to myself. We are just unable to let ourselves fall into the gray areas.

Haha... From now on, Edwin will be presenting a definition of Happiness everytime he blogs. =p
First Definition: No one can define happiness. You have to be unhappy to understand it.

2005-06-15T20:17:00.001+08:00

If you have worked with 90% effort, give yourself a tap on your shoulder, and tell yourself,"You have done your best, regardless of the result, you should give yourself a treat."
If you have worked with 50% effort, still give yourself a tap on your shoulder, and tell yourself, "Although you have only put in half of what you could, you have at least put in some effort. So don't be upset about it and tell yourself you should put in more effort the next time round. "
If you have worked with 10% effort, dun forget to give yourself a tap on your shoulder too, tell yourself, " You have a lot of room for improvement. This time round you have put in little effort, but every effort means a lot. So, be happy that you are willingly to put in effort, and put in more the next time round."

The perplex question of how mankind started. A minority group of scientist and billions of people believes in creationism; Jesus has resurrected from dead on Easter. So what have I got to say? I say nothing is impossible in this world.

"Intelligence without inspiration is nothing; while professionalism without passion is nothing too." The fundamental key to success is to love yourself. Many of us say this, we need encouragement from friends, family and people around me to help us get up when we fall. But, one must know, no one can be there for anyone forever. Many of the times, we just need to get up ourselves and brush off those cuts and bruises and continue walking. Sometimes, we are just too reliant on others. I was reliant. But, I have learnt to be independent after all this happened. Maybe is the ego or pride of chauvinistic Edwin, but I just want to be more independent. Nevertheless, I still appreciate those people who encouraged me. Its through all this times, I know what is true friendship is. But I was just too reliant on all this, and each time I fall, I didn't know how to get up on my own.

Sometimes after many falls, one just can't be bothered to stand up anymore. What about you? Have you get out of your nightmares?

I will still pray for your Mr. Right.

As for me, it doesn't matter anymore.

I'm just glad I got you.

2005-06-14T17:14:00.000+08:00

Ever since the fall of Adam and Eve, women have been looked upon suspicion as she succumbed to the temptation by the serpent. They were regarded as the more gullible one between the two sexes. I think that's the reason for the cynicism in people today especially women, e.g. Denise Keller. Women today are more protective of themselves, trying not to fall into the sweet-talking of the crafty men.

But there are still people who believe in the 'impossible', the Fairy Tale. Fairy Tales tell us that every story has a happy ending, whereby the charming prince and the beautiful princess will live happily ever after. So there comes after, the "I'll be there for you, whatever happens to you" promise appears in the marriage vow. Then after song such as "Tong Hua"; and storybook/show "A walk to remember" appears in the market. People watch and listen to it, and further believe that such things can happen. And, so more people are search for their perfect happiness relentlessly. Whereas, for me, I would say no happiness is eternal, there are merely there momentarily.

It's the ending that matters to many people. They are afraid that it may end badly, so why not end everything now, so that the hurt is lessened. But 'True love doesn't has an ending'. You see, many fear in our lives are accumulated by the experiences we had. Failure is one of the main sources. And so, we blamed ourselves for those failures, even though we put in tons of effort in it. It really hurts when the other party didn't appreciate your effort. Sadly, these kinda things happen to most of us. But friends, don't ever give up, cause the best is yet to come.

2005-06-12T14:58:00.000+08:00

There are many trials and tribulations in our lives that we must go through. Thru these, we are able to become a stronger and probably a better person. I would not say that I have gone thru a lot. After all, I've been on this planet for merely 17 years. But I just wanna thank those people that have walked this path with me. And I try as much as I can to cherish this wonderful relationship with u guys. Sometimes, I just need a time of my own. Quieting down, thinking back what I should or shouldn't have done.

Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is mystery, and Today is a gift, that's why we call it present. Forget what happened yesterday and never look back? I can’t do that. You have, and done it so charismatically. Newfound happiness u have found, yet I could taste saltiness in my numbed mouth. Saltiness tasted from small drops of water dropped from above. I looked up to see if it was raining. It wasn't. The sun was shining high and brightly above me. Realised that it was from me. That question just stabbed my heart as I dropped into this bottomless pit. Don't come close me, I may pull you down.

Thank u friends. =) You know who you are. The smile will never be earsed from me. Thanks again.

2005-06-10T17:17:00.000+08:00

Now here's a story
An old man, his son and a donkey were walking to the market
At first, the boy was sitting on the donkey
"How unfilial this boy is, letting his old father do all the walking" one said
Then the boy decided to let his elderly father sit on the donkey
A while later, another said, "This boy is so pitiful."
So the old man also decided to walk, with his son
As they walked, one said, "They are so stupid, not riding on the donkey"
So the old man and the boy decided to carry the donkey
And as they crossed a bridge, their hands slipped and the donkey dropped into the river
Moral of story?
You can never please everyone
There may be 1 million people out there who loathe you. But there are also a million people who love you too.

The relentless pursuit of finding the real me seemed in vain. Especially after every fall I make. It just spells failure. Have I given it all? Those unanswered question keep flashing in my mind. All these have been hidden inside for me for a long time. I'm just not willingly to allow others to know all these. I have been revolving around my utopian world. Smile I will. But please don't say that I'm a two- faced person. I just want to pass time faster. Instead of frowning at the problems, smile seems a better and wiser decision. Life definately goes on for me. There are so many priorities and responsibilities awaiting for me. But still deep down, i'm still hurt, broken, battered

Procrastination is a great falling. Don't ever wait for the next time. Cause there may never be a next time anymore. Many people left this world and ascend to heaven, only to find out that there are so many things that they wanted to do, but didn't. Many faced death with so much regret, cause they just procrastinate. I often say that I do things with no regrets. But this time, it's different. I regret punching the wall. Although I did not even using my knuckles, I made a grave mistake. It took a turning in my life. I don't feel bad for saying this out. I made a mistake. That's the fact. So what's the truth? Truth is I really regret doing it, and for the millionth time, if time can be turned back, I would never do it again.

Finally I'm willingly to pen down my feelings. I was afraid to let anyone know. Thinking that it may well destroy the happiness of someone. I don't know if it will, but if has, I'm sorry. Now as I continue to play my role, something seems to be holding me back. Fear overwhelms. In front of u, I put on a brave front. Complications arise and bother me. Right now, there's only me. Perhaps, this predicament may extend its stay with me. Every single hope evaporated. Try as i may to relinquish the thoughts and days, i still hold on to the glorious yesterdays.

2005-06-09T21:23:00.000+08:00

I screamed out loud for someone to help
Yet i dun allow that person to help
The answer that i get is all the same
I just can't bring myself to do it
What happen to those beautiful days
We dun even hold conversations now
I still feel empty inside of me

I'm glad that i have this blog
To pen down my feelings
The only way i can express it
Laughter are merely obligations
Everyone wants to be happy
Why frown when u can smile?
But yet deep down inside my heart
I just feel so torn apart
No one understand
But i dun even understand myself
So why expect others to understand me?
All my life i have been the listening ear to others
I have been the passive one
I believe in fate
So i seldom take initiative

I'm sinking into this quicksand
And i'm halfway before i'm fully sinked
A mask i have been wearing ever since u are out of my life
And i feel like i'm a bad actor
With a lousy script written for me
Yet lights are shining on me
And i have to act out my role
The happy-go-lucky Edwin

I tried as much as i could
To help people who are toubled
As they confided in me
Yet i realised i couldn't
I'm concerned about others feelings rather than myself
And people think that i'm trying to be noble
If the ones i love is drowning
I would definately save them
No doubt

2005-06-07T09:14:00.000+08:00

- That's When I'll Stop Loving You -
When winter comes in summer

When there's no more love forever

That's when I'll stop loving you (that's when I'll stop loving you)
I'm sure you've heard these words before

And I know it's hard

For you to trust him once more

You're afraid it all might happen again

And a broken heart

You're scared of breaking again

But you've gotta believe me

I'll never leave you

You never cry as long as I am there

And I will always be there

You will never be without love

When winter comes in summer

When there's no more love forever

When lies become the truth

Oh you'll know then baby

That's when I'll stop lovin' you

That's when I'll stop lovin' you (that's when I'll stop lovin you)
As long as sunlight lights the sky

Light of love will be found in these eyes of mine (these eyes of mine)

And I will shine that light for you

You're the only one

That will heal this heart too

What I'm tryin' to say is

Nothing will change this

There will be no time that you won't find me there

'Cause I will always be there

You will always have all my love
And when this world doesn't turn anymore

When the stars all decide to stop shining

'Til then I'm gonna be by your side

I'm gonna be lovin' you forever

Everyday of my life (oh oh yeah yeah)

Well then you know baby

That's when I'll stop lovin

'That's when I'll stop lovin

'That's When I'll stop lovin' you... (oooooooooooh)

This is for U*... yah U* ... dun doubt... It has always been you...

I'm still here... always been here ... I've moved on ... but never away from U*

"If I had the letters "HRT", I can add "EA" to get a "HEART" or a "U*" and get "HURT".

But I'd rather choose "U*" and get "HURT" than have a "HEART" without "U*"

I choose to get hurt... and that's wad i choose well... no regrets*

2005-06-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

I wanted to ask her a question

But after that i decided not to

If she wanted to tell me, she will

I dun wan to force her

Or make her feel uncomfortable

So i will never thk of asking that question again

2005-06-06T11:16:00.000+08:00

Emotions get the better of me

I'm numb to all this

Heart shattering is the common 'sound' in me

I feel like a complete idiot

Thank God

2005-06-03T18:47:00.001+08:00

Thank god that my dad is alright...
His thumb got kinda swollen and it was said that it may hav to be amputated
Thank god that it's nt serious ...
or else i really dunno wad i shld do

I have been a failure in many aspects of my life
nevertheless i always look on the bright side and hope that thgs improve
some didn't ... i was utterly disappointed
but STILL i dun wana give up
that's Edwin yah...

Anyway... on a happy note ... i enjoyed the outing with my pw grp
haha.. mux be wondering why pw grp still go out huh...
not for pw obviously
and at the end of the day i'm very glad we have each other yah ...
(go to rach's blog to see our neoprint... not very nice though)=)

Leaf depart becos tree didn't ask her to stay?

2005-05-27T21:10:00.000+08:00

Today was GP exam .... did sth related to marriage (wad a small world huh?) ... didnt have much confidence abt this paper... nevertheless ... have to start mugging liaoz .... so this holiday will be rather hectic ... have so much plans for myself...... dun wana let anyone down esp. my mum ... she's the best! haha

Having many thoughts abt my stuff .... rather confused... but i noe somehow i have to straighten out my thoughts.... yup .... keke ...

2005-05-16T21:11:00.000+08:00

Dun be amazed cos i'm not the Edwin i used to be

Cos people do change afterall isn't it?

Dun question wadever happened

Accept it cos it's the harsh reality of life

Dun ask me why i'm feeling this way

I've finally realise it's not only about feelings

Dun inquire the meaning of life

Everything happens for a reason

Dun say that i didn't understand

*U didn't give me a chance to

Dun hide your feelings

Regrets will follow after that

Dun do things you never wish to

Cos we only got a hundred years to live

Dun be afraid of the dark

God create day and night

Dun be ashamed to cry

Even heros have a right to bleed

It's getting harder and harder to understand 'u'

People say that the true 'u' can only be found after a few years

But is it really true?

Have i mistaken 'u'?

Everyone has their own opinion of 'u' and it differs a LOT

There's no right and wrong about their opinion

Everyone has their own freedom of speech yah?

Have a mind of my own, and risk being the one being wronged all the time

I have no place in my family

But 'u' have a place in my heart

'u' come in many forms

and i wish that i could have all of them

'u' are so significant in my life

still is and will be definately

'u' are present in many aspects

be it the things i do or the people around me

Some are so happy everyday that it seems that dey have no worries at all

Some are so sad everyday that it seems that dey have no joy at all

Some say that i seem very troubled... i guess its just that i think abit more than others yah?

I'll stand by you- Girls Aloud

When you're standing at the crossroads

And don't know which path to choose

Let me come along'cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you

2005-05-12T22:08:00.000+08:00

It's over ........ Tennis tournament has come to an end...... We lost narrowly Everyone were soooo disappointed....... Heads were down .......So near yet so far, So close to winning the match against SAJC 3-2 is the score, hearts were broken......... So much were at stake, Glory, colours award, everything..... This year is a bad year for me ............. Everything never seems to go right for me...... "If Only" were the words among the tennis guys........... If Only the line-up was right.........................................ZzZzzzzZZzzzz

2005-05-08T03:09:00.000+08:00

Friday was Songfest night "Let's Jam" ... It was a wonderful concert, sitting with those soccer guys make me feel so high that night ... haha ... some performances were great ... while some were hilarious "Love me, Dun Leave!" ... haha ...

Anyway, it was just another hectic week for me ... as soon as i lie on the bed... i will fall asleep immediately .... didnt feel that well during the weekends ... so didnt go anyway but rest at home and ... SLEEP... haha ... needed lots of rest ... and sleep doesnt realli help much ...

Also, next Wednesday ... we will be up against SAJC ... and have to pray and hope that we will win that match and we will be through to the Semis ... the other opponent is RJC ... chances of winning them is rather slim... so have to pin all hopes on the SAJC match ...

And today is Mother's Day! In the past it's nth special .. but definately not dis year... keke ...

When our eyes met that day ... somehow the feeling is just so special and unforgettable... maybe that's why they say "Love is forever"

2005-04-29T02:35:00.000+08:00

You're in My Thoughts and Prayers. I know this time is very hard for you, and though I can't change all that you're going through, I hope you know I care about you so much and I'm praying for you every day.

Nowadays, it seems that people around me are just having probably their worse time of their life ... yet i couldn't do ath to help dem .... those include people who cheered me up during my worse time ... i feel so useless ... dey helped me but i cldn't help dem ... aRgHh...

Anyway, we won tjc 4-1 and into the 2nd round of the competition ... well saw felicia during the the tjc, haha and keep asking me the scores and stuff... Draw will be out next week ... so jux hope it will turn out well and we will make it to the semis yah?...

2005-04-24T23:58:00.000+08:00

Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it. (Mark Twain)

How true. When one has the courage to do smthg, it doesn't one doesn't has fear, but that one is willingly to fight fear.

Anyway this week is a hectic week, even during weekends ... when will i have a anytime to take a rest!? And, TPJC guys tennis team beat AJC 5-0 but lost to VJC 1-4 ... Well, not a bad result... but the gers team did our sch proud... dey beat NJC ... that wasn't expected but dey fought till the end .. anyway i learned a phrase dis week "you reap wad you sow" yah... that's very true ... so gotta put in tons of effort in wadever i do now esp. studies(Hopefully) ....

True Love has no ending

Only people who has experienced true love will understanding this quote... i understood

2005-04-17T22:32:00.000+08:00

Trust, What is trust?
The assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something, one in which confidence is placed
So what happens when this trust is misplaced? When something happens which makes YOU want to turn your back on all these assured reliances that you yourself have placed on a particular person?

Doubt that the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But NEVER doubt I love.
William Shakespeare

i dun trust people easily... but once i trust someone ... i will never doubt her.... even if it means tt she lying to me, or didn't mean it at all... i will still trust her ... therefore i hope that she will be true to her feelings and never give up... every word i say is true this i promise u ... A lie is a lie, a sin is a sin... thus i hate to lie even if it's a white lie...

Remember:
50 years from now
i would be old
i may forget u
i may not remember ever knowing u
or may forget that i once care and love u
i might
but i won't

Every promise i made, i will never break it again as long as i live....

Every moment we spent together, i will keep it close to my heart forever...

Every word u said to me, i will remember as long as i remember u....

Every single gift u gave me, i will keep it with me for all my life....

That's how special u are in my heart.....

Memory is a capricious thing, belonging not in the world of reason and logic but in the realms of dreams

2005-04-13T22:13:00.000+08:00

5-0 ... that's the score for the result for our 1st match against MI ... It was expected and we won ... everyone celebrated except me ... cos i lost the chance to play ... i just hate myself for not learning tennis earlier so that i will be good enough to play ... it just make me thk alot ... well in the end the team's result will be more imprtant and whether i play or not is secondary ... well just hope that the team will get into the semis cos they really have the potential to do that ... ZzzZzzz

"We are stronger than our fears and more competent than our worries

- Richard Carlson "

Happy!

2005-04-09T22:48:00.000+08:00

Yeah... i've changed my skin! Cool eh? I love the song 'perfect' by simple plan ... keke ... anyway have found my 'joy' that seem so lost for the past month ... can't say why yet .. but i just found out how amazing fate is ... to allow 2 ppl who has not really met in the reality, to actually meet virtually... haha ... i just wana believe in fate more and more ...

Anyway the tennis tournament is nxt wednesday ... i hope people will come down to support the team .. although i dun thk i will be involved... but i really wish that people will come down to support ... we really need that! It will be held on the homeground ... so people plz come down and support! Semi-Finals Here we come!

2005-04-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

No one said that this was going to be easy.
No one said it was going to be smooth sailing all the way.
No one said it was going to hurt so much.
No one said it was going to be so hard at times.
Then again,
No one said it was going to be this wonderful.

It doesn't matter how much he loved her ... cos no matter how deep his love is for her ... he can't be there for her when's she's down, can't hug her when she needs assurance and can't tell her how much he loves her for she doesn't has faith in him anymore ... it comes to a point where no matter how hard he tries it doesn't matter "I tried so hard and got so far, in the end it doesn't even matter" I'm able to be the love consultant of many ... but in the end ... i can't even solve my own... ironic isn't it? i feeling like a masquerade as the days pass by... sorry

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything---Katherine Hepburn

2005-04-03T20:19:00.000+08:00

I guess this time

you're really leaving

I heard your suitcase say goodbye

And as my broken heart lies bleeding

You say true love in suicide
You say you've cried a thousand rivers

And now you're swimming for the shore

You left me drowning in my tears

And you won't save me anymore
Now I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl

I'll be there for you

These five words I swear to you

When you breathe I want to be the air for you

I'll be there for you I'd live and I'd die for you

Steal the sun from the sky for you

Words can't say what a love can do

I'll be there for you

I know you know we're had some good times

How they have their own hiding place

I can promise you tomorrow

But I can't buy back yesterday
And Baby you know my hands are dirty

But I wanted to be your valentine

I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby

When you get drink, I'll be the wine

And I wan't there when you were happy

I wasn't there when you were down

I didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby

I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

This song is by Bon Jovi... a rather old song but means a millions words... Even an incredible man like Lee Kuan Yew cries ... wad more to expect a normal guy like me ... to be there for someone isn't an easy thing cos u need the person to open up completely to you... but when it comes to a point where she doesn't has the faith in you anymore ... it will be pointless no matter how much one tries...

i've understand alot of things during this period .... "I love you, I love you, I love you" .... i understood wad that means ... i really do ... being able to say out this so many times goes to show how much u felt for me ... but i just didn't get it ... i guess it's just too late ...

Always being there for a person you love, is almost a previlege. Having that individual open up to you completely is no longer a previlege, but something so fantastic, so stupendous that words alone are unable to describe this feeling. It's no longer a burden, not even a trace of it, in fact, it becomes a thing of wanting, of longing. To be able to lend a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, to be there for you.

2005-03-31T22:04:00.000+08:00

True love is found when u saw her flaws, understands her weaknesses and overlooked her imperfection, yet you still can't live without her... got this from "Chase" ... well i thought this is rather meaningful...

Anyway, i've thought of a place to bring the most important person in my life to ... it's a wonderful place where the best sceneries can be seen ... haha .. and guess wad .. i'm not going to say the place .. haha ...

"Live Strong" , the yellow band, i've decided to get it from one of my peeps ... and well its not for fashion, its purely for charity ... it contributes to the cancer foundation and people who knows me well enough, will know that it has something to do with my dad...

I noe that i'm just avoiding right now... but that's the only way i can return back to my normal life... i jus cant afford to disappoint the people ard me esp. my parents ... and sometimes i just dun behave how i feel... as much as i hate to be 2-faced... i cant thk of any ways anymore...

2005-03-26T20:48:00.000+08:00

Today was a very meaningful day for me cos i was invited to City Harvest church service at the indoor stadium ... alot of thgs happened that almost moved me to tears esp. when i saw so many ppl was healed by god, in just split seconds... it was my 1st time seeing this scene ... i also get to noe many ppl who is in Mel's cell grp ...

I believe in the existence of god.. but just refused to let myself be healed cos simply i dun deserve this ... it's difficult to explain ...sometimes i just looked down on myself alot ... i wasn't like this in the past ... bottom line is people change isn't it...

My mum also played a huge role in me making the decision... god create us and our mother bring us into this world ... so i have responsibility in repaying her and not be rebellious to her isn't it ..?

I'm confused and lost now.. i hope that "she" who's so close to me in my heart will be able to help me... "In my heart, i treat u as one of my family member already... so i really hope u can help me find my answer."

2005-03-24T22:02:00.000+08:00

He:Did I hear you right?

Cause I thought you said

Let's think it over

You have been my life

And I never planned

Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light

Where the love once shined so bright

Came without a reason

Don't let go on us tonight

Love's not always black and white

Haven't I always loved you?

She:But when I need you

You're almost here

And I know that's not enough

And when I'm with you

I'm close to tears'cause your only almost here

He:I would change the world

If I had a chance

Oh won't you let me

Treat me like a child

Throw your arms around me

Oh please protect me

Both:Bruise and battered by your words

Days are shattered, how it hurts

He:Oh, haven't I always loved you?

She:But when I need you

You're almost here

And I know that's not enough

And when I'm with you

I'm close to tears'cause your only almost here

Both:Bruise and battered by your words

Days are shattered, now it hurts

He:Haven't I always loved you?

She:But when I need you

You're almost here

He:Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you

She:And when I hold you You're almost here

He:Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

Both:And now I'm with you I'm close to tears

He:Cause I know I'm almost here

Both:Only almost here

This song said alot about my thoughts about it ... I wanted so bad to be there for her but i'm only almost there.... Although i may look strong ... sometimes i just break down completely and wish that i'm nv exist at all ... i just can't afford to let down the people around me ... they encourage me again and again .. but i let myself fall yet again...

~Love is not about loving the perfect person, it's about loving an imperfect person perfectly~

2005-03-22T22:40:00.000+08:00

Well, today went to hosp.. doc told me i need another operation ... which is totally opposed by my mum .... tt's the only way to improve my hearing .... but my mum doesnt want me to go for operations again and again cos i had this operation like 4-5 times liao? There's no cure .. haiz ... wad worse things can happen to me manz...

Who will be there for me?

2005-03-21T20:44:00.000+08:00

When asked "Which of the following is most important to me :Achievement, Character, Fame, Family, Friends, Happiness, Health, Love, Money, Power" I will choose Love ... Happiness cannot last for a lifetime, Money, power, fame will never be most important to me ... As for family and friends, without love, it's just nothing ... Many past experience has made me lost alot of faith in this thing though .. but i believe it again and again ... despite all the pain...

I'm glad she has found her love of her life and starts to smile again ... someone who can and will be there for her ... That's wad she needs ...

I haven't found mine .. but somewhere down the road, i guess a girl will appear in my life and be there for me ....

2005-03-20T10:11:00.000+08:00

Well this holiday .. i got more tanned; lost some weight and lose something that is the most important thing in my life-> my love ... Meeting her was the luckiest thing i've ever had ... and i've not regretted loving her ... "There is nv 1 sec i nv miss u.. nv 1 min i nv stop tinkin of u.. n nv 1 hr i nv long for u.. n nv 1 day i wil stop luvin u" but till that day, i decided to move on ... cos i'm jux not good enuff for her .... feelings have not fade .. but i just have to move on ...

-when u didn't respond to my calls and msg, i tot u needed some time and space but i got it all wrong again, like the last time-

2005-03-17T22:24:00.000+08:00

Well, i've decided to move on the moment she says i am not the right guy for her ... i can't give security to the one i love ... sorry... i'm just not rationale and mature enough ... I've loved u till the moment u told me i'm not the right guy for u ... at tt moment i've decided to move on ....Sorry if i've hurt u in the process ... i guess i'm just not dun deserve to love and be loved ... i hope that she will be able to find the right guy ... and stay happy always ...

As for me... i will move on ... i've kind of sorted out my feelings.... and without god's help ... i will jus get on with my life ... have to adapt to the sudden changes ... but i've to stay strong...